I came off pretty sharp on Twitter today, utterly over the petty shade and drama (usually new) bloggers try to pitch at one another. I’ve been doing this for nearly 4 years and it’s never been so exhausting to edit and post… but its only exhausting for a few reasons.
- People trying to be who they aren’t – or maybe they’re just becoming themselves? But I argue you don’t become yourself by trying to be someone else. Granted, we are all pieces of our past and our present and whatever we aspire from our future. But there’s a way to evolve into that. It happens gradually as you edit the things you like and dislike. As you disregard the things that freeze your interests and growth. Becoming yourself is something that happens with time, age, experience, creativity, and effort. If you see someone and instantly try to be like them (even if it means saying or doing something that really doesn’t feel true to you) that’s a sign you’ve got a hell a lot of void within you and maybe you just need to sit back and reflect on that and on yourself.
- Who does it better? – I can’t help to laugh at this because if you start based on that, then you’re already starting on the wrong foot… and who am I to tell you you’re starting on the wrong foot, but I am telling you and you are. Unless that’s what you want to make this about, you can’t get mad at the game when that is what it becomes entirely. Its what you make of it, honestly, and if you viciously compete with the next ones shoot, place to eat, outfit, post, writing style, where the hell are you ending up? How is that fun at all? How does that drive you? Do you think that’s not going to catch up to you at some point or another? Maybe that’s what leads to so much burnout. Leads me straight to my next point…
- Starting with the wrong intentions – Personally, the way I started this journey was by committing myself to an endless field possibilities and the idea of documenting and sharing. That’s it: documenting and sharing. You can go way back to my first posts. They’re all there, unedited and super amateur-looking. I did it, I started. What would come at the end of that? I never worried, but of course I hoped it’d be positive. There’s always this fine line between doing it for yourself and doing it for others. Allow me to state the obvious: as you grow your audience (something only time, authenticity, and consistency can do) you will want them to like what you produce. Unless you’re okay with writing to a ghost town, you will take in requests. But at the heart of that, you should never lose yourself and the mind you set out to start with. I never write a post on a trending topic because its trending, because it might go viral, because someone might like it. I write what ever post because first and foremost I want to and along that desire, I do hope it has a positive, longterm impact. Reversing that would be so contradicting.
- Bloggers who aren’t really bloggers – its such an easy title these days… you just create a free account and publish an introductory post about all the things you hope to write and share through the course of time- and easily half a year goes by and everyone forgot about your excitement.
What’sWho’s a blogger? I think its definitely different for everyone these days. Some people don’t even consider them “legit” unless they have a vast following or they’re living off their content or something. I want to believe a blogger is a consistent and dedicated writer, connected to their audience (however small). A blogger is someone who shares within their own bounds their love of things, inspiration, their lifestyle, hobbies… a blogger is someone in the digital space committed to putting out content and lending an ear to those who respond with great respect and/or some degree of constructive criticism. A Blogger celebrates their fellow bloggers success… whether it’d an award, or finally working with a certain brand they’ve had their eye on, or participating in a commercial, or simply connecting with a complete stranger from the other side of the world. The possibilities are endless and one should always lift and encourage the other. There’s no right or wrong way to be a blogger. Its only wrong when it isn’t really what its meant to be… and by that I think I just mean a super superficial act to get seen as something they’re really not.
- If its not aesthetically pleasing, nvm – “aesthetically pleasing”… I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen the word “aesthetically” or “aesthetics” used incorrectly. Its all part of the hype. People even start talking (and writing) the way they don’t typically talk (or write), but anyway thats not the point I’m trying to make with this point… what I’m referring to here is people who literally choose what they wear, who they meet with, what they buy for their home, where they eat, what they choose IN LIFE for the sake of their instagram feed or blog. Give me a break. That in itself has levels of superficiality to it. I get that some people want a super edited feed or work, but to what degree? To the point that it alters your whole life and the choices you make? Come on now people, its social media. A lot of times these are the same people who preach “its not what it seems” I literally cringe when I hear that… that’s a point on its own.
- It isn’t what it seems – guys… it isn’t what it seems. Ok, why? Because you opt for it to be that way! You make your things look like you live such a clean and perfect life. You put it that way! No one else does, the flock of “influencers” do. Don’t get mad when people want to compare to you, or want the things you have because that’s all you’re translating through your feed and platforms, “Look at my life! Look at my days! Look at what I just had! Its so perfect!! Ahhh #goals!” Jesus. Especially the ones with a heavy following. Those are the first to say something like this and if they can’t stand it then how about some change? Stop photoshopping your curves. Stop sharpening your jaw line. Stop promoting that stupid slim tea that doesnt work. Stop making your ass bigger. We can see you in video or find you in person and realize its not really like how you put yourself out to be. Stop just sharing the happy moments. You can post raw, sad, intimate moments, too, and connect with people on a whole different magnitude!!! People go through it and when they see whatever they’re going through can be talked about that changes everything and enhances that audience and that connection. Its really not rocket science to me, but I guess it is to some people. The dirty, the shame, the things people are so afraid to talk about is often what gets the most praise and credibility. It’s simply being relatable and not putting yourself on some pedestal far out of your own audiences reach.