It’s so nice to have something in the week to look forward to. It’s been nearly 2 years since I actually felt the difference between the load of the week and the lightness of the weekend. My first Saturday off I decided I was going to rest and not lift a finger, but then the week came and almost ate me alive.
I’m trying to find the balance between excelling in nursing school, keeping my home tidy, spending quality time with my family, taking care of myself, and not neglect my friends or blog.
I have found that when my anxiety strikes, I clean and organize obsessively. When I want to avoid something, I keep busy through cleaning. It might not sound like a problem, but I find myself restless. Last Saturday I had to organize clothes, do dishes, and pick up my place and mop, and I just couldn’t get around to doing it. I was SO tired after my first 2 weeks back in school that all I wanted to do was spend my time in bed scrolling through blogs and reading books. The third week came and I couldn’t focus on anything while in the apartment because nothing felt like it was in order. I would actually just stay in school until it was time to pick up Noah and work on homework or study there because I knew coming home I would just be distracted.
In order for me to perform effectively, the space around me must be intact. I need to see things where they belong and smell something good (like a candle or fresh sheets), otherwise I itch to perfect it and not take on other priorities like reading 20 assigned pages on a certain respiratory disorder.
By the grace of God, I naturally wake up early. That’s also when I thrive. I look forward to the aroma of coffee alone- imagine how my happy little heart races at the thought of my first sip. So today I awoke and as soon as I got out of bed I put all those little monsters in their place so I can look forward to a calm Saturday, a clean Sunday, and a smoother glance at my surroundings during the week. By 10 AM everything was in order and the laundry was rolling. I sat on my sofa and just reflected on how amazing we feel when we do what we are suppose to do and not put off our chores.
It’s so nice to walk into a room with clothes nicely coordinated on a rack and a bed made- inviting you by its cleanliness alone. A living room with no dust and thriving colors. A bathroom with no hairs lingering or dirty laundry on the floor from the night before. A kitchen with no dirty dishes, blank counters and a clean stove. A fridge with everything lined up and no leaks, rotten fruits or vegetables.
These are the little things that fuel me behind the scenes and allow me to study, live, communicate, and sleep in peace.