Self 2018

 

I’d like to consider 2018 a year of unapologetic self and academic focus. In 2017 I made it a point to become more bold and publicly comfortable with my decisions of doing and saying and posting what I wanted. After living almost all of my life completely suppressed by the perception of others or the possibility of upsetting someone, it was time for a change. I liked it. The truth of the matter is not everyone is going to be okay with your perspective, with your lifestyle, with your thought-process, and that’s okay. I don’t need to be liked if its going to compromise my authenticity. I like having a say and voicing my opinion when necessary, and doing as I please. It all goes back to having ONE life on earth to live and living it without thinking what could have been had I done or said xyz differently (or at all). Now the spin on 2018 will be truly aiming to take care of my body from the inside-out. A few weeks ago I started drinking water like never before and that alone has made a significant difference in my fatigue, level of energy, appetite control, and skin health and moisture. During my first term in nursing school I learned SO much about the body. I took Anatomy & Physiology, Nutrition, Growth & Development, Psychology- and they all held incredible lessons of how beautifully complex our mind and bodies are and how hard our bodies work to keep us alive.

In terms of academia, the semesters are going to get tougher and tougher as I go from one to the next, but I’m so inspired and excited for all that awaits me. I took a break from college for about 3 years and I didn’t think I was interested in returning, but that was only because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I know what I like, but my passions were nothing books or a grading scale could teach me- for example: styling. Whether it’d be interiors or personal style. I just couldn’t sit through school with someone telling me what goes right with what because my taste is by sight. If I see what I like then it goes. To me style is incredibly subjective and you can’t tell someone their taste is right or wrong. With nursing, however, it was different. I still can’t believe I’m doing this sometimes, but it feels amazing. It fills me in such a way. To know that I will be able to help save lives or be there when one is passing, or being born, gives me chills. It’s a little overwhelming for me to even articulate right now. All my life I’ve been super sensitive and in a way I feel like this career will teach me so many things about what’s important and what’s not.

I took a bit of a break from the blog since starting school, but if you’ve been an avid reader of my content I hope you can see why. Going forward, I really am not sure about any posting structure (yet), but if you can tell, some revamping took place. I’m inspired again. One thing I can tell you is there won’t be too much posing or editing going into it. The blogging industry is so oversaturated with staging. Something that has kept me from posting consistently is my undying strive for perfection (virgo life). I’m going back to the old style of doing this. Raw and unfiltered. Relatable. An online diary if you will. I love this too much to stop and I cannot believe this year will make 5 years of writing on such a grand platform.

New Years was fun. Noah stayed over his grandparents house, and my husband and I went out with two mutual friends. One of our favorite couples actually. The whole day I contemplated whether or not to leave Noah. Then I thought, “either I’ll be 45 and I’ll look back and regret not being next to my son the moment a minute differed 2018 from 2017, or I’ll look back forgiving myself, knowing I was just 25 years old- full of life and energy; in a position strong enough to drink and dance the night into the new year if I wanted to (knowing Noah was perfectly fine with his beloved grandparents).” I went to bed at 5:50 AM and I felt like 19 all over again.

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